come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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