No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
