All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
