i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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