I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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