For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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