Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
