Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
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i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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