I accidentally had phone sex last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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