The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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