i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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