Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
