We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
