Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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