You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize