After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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