ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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