The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
