i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You don't make any sense
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