I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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