I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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