well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there was a trapeze. enough said
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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