i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize