i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
