We won't sleep together?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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