FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
