My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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