dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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