Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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