I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
