Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
only if we run a train.
done.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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