Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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