My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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