so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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