Dual....:-)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
