What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
