Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
