my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
