I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize