I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...