I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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