so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
