Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
