I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
