There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
