I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
