just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
