I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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