Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
