you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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