I love black thongs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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