i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
