Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
