you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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