ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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