Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
