She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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