the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
