If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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