weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
