Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
